Property descriptions in the multiple listing service usually feature overblown broker babble touting new granite counters, “Pottery Barn” color palates, palatial master suites, and expansive backyards. Even when marketing the most tragically neglected homes, successful Realtors usually find a way to rev up the hyperbole to warp speed. It’s what we do. It’s one of the reasons our clients pay us.
So, it took me by surprise when I was searching for homes on behalf of a client today when I came across the following property description:
No Sign. No Lockbox. Shown By Appointment Only.
And to top it off, there were no pictures.
It made me think of the “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Dice” scene in Fast Times At Ridgemont High.
After watching the scene on YouTube and vowing to watch the movie in its entirety yet again, I started to feel bad for this particular seller. It probably doesn’t take a Realtor (or a potential home buyer) to figure out what happens when you come across a listing description that says only “No Sign. No Lockbox. Shown By Appointment Only” with no pictures. At best, we assume that the home seller/professional selling it are apathetic. At worse, we wonder, it might be a meth house overrun with mold, asbestos and termites.
Not to judge a book by its cover, but come on, give me something to work with, like “This house has a kitchen!” or “Buy the house, it also comes with a yard… that has grass!” Take a couple of pictures. I’m representing buyers who- theoretically, at least- want to buy what you’re selling. Give me something to work with!
Of course, I could just be judgmental and petty. Entirely possible.